Marriage Law- or as my lawyer says: you are screwed
by Ryszard
Summary: You know the marriage law fics. Fudge comes( as he is a good bad politican), tells there is a law to enforce marriages and Hermione gets paired with Snape or Malfoy, only to fall in love. In this one she has a problem... she(like everyone else) will receive a randomly chosen, crazy partner(maybe even Dobby, Dumbledore or Voldemort, they are resurrected and will marry SOMEONE)
1. A new law is created

Disclaimer: I am male, therefore I am not J.K. Rowling. So I don't own Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fudge, Umbridge or anything else. Not even a brick from Hogwarts. But I am also not Eoin Colfer, who owns Artemis Fowl. He only is here as a reference to my first, horrible Fanfic.

AN: This is the law. The effect will be in the next chapter... expect death, fourth wall breaking(which causes death... or do you want to be crushed under a wall?) Plot armor, crack pairings and Draco in leather pants.

Law Nr. 2583: To protect magical Great Britain

Due to the sudden disappearing of 60% of the female population, the ministry of magic decided to force marriages, as we have to keep up the population. Officially the reason will be to remove the pureblood supremacists from Great Britain to avoid another war. The likely cause: Hermione Jane Granger has to be punished, and get a bad spouse. The other cause: Artemis Fowl the second from Dublin, Ireland is likely deceased, at least according to our sources. The law will concern everyone over 16 Years of age. It will work like a lottery on most cases. Current marriages which have no children or lasted under 5 years will be dissolved. Further, the marriages of Arthur and Molly Weasley, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy will also be dissolved.

Lord Voldemort, Albus Dumbledore, the Malfoy's house elf Dobby and Severus Snape will be resurrected according to form 768h "resurrection of a recently deceased into a perfectly complete human being", form 768e "resurrection of a recently deceased magical creature into itself" and the new form 768LV "resurrection of a villain, who was resurrected as a human-snake hybrid into a stronger, smarter and overall improved human being"

Signed

_Cornelius Fudge_

Minister of Magic

_Dolores Umbridge_

Head of the department of Family, Traditions and Morale


	2. Blood and Spouses

Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling and there is no Draco I leather pants. There was no Hermione or beautiful girl to comfort.

A/N: I thank my first follower Aquilla Lestrange and these 15 German Readers. Danke! Also the 9 Americans, Polakowi również dziękuje. And the two British. And the indian. And the Iclander, The bosnier and the rest of my 45 readers. Thank you all! Ryszard.

It was a nice, sunny day in may. Everybody was happy. At least, until Fudge appeared during lunch.

"Dear students: I am, as you all should know, the current Minister of Magic. I am here to tell you about the new Marriage Law, as we don't want another war, everyone will marry Mudbl... I mean muggleborns, or a infertile man" said Fudge.

"Oh no, that's surely one of these where I get paired with a Slytherin I hate, only to fall in love."muttered Hermione under her breath.

"Um, 'Mione... you aren't supposed to know that, as it is knowing about fan fiction and breaking the fourth wall and I heard bad things were happening if you break it..." said Ron.

After he finished the sentence, a wall fell over and crushed every Hufflepuff, with exception of Justin Flinch Flechley and Hannah Abbott who wore an armor with "Plot" written over it.

Behind the wall stood a pale boy in a black suit with a prosecutor's badge pinned to his chest. Obviously everyone was angry, until he said "They are just a red shirt army who no one remembers, we can get them back via Fingersnipping. And there appeared a new set. "Now, where were we... Obliviate!"

As everybody forgot the boy and was ignoring the broken wall Fudge continued his speech

"Well, I want you to know your future spouses. Gregory Goyle! You will marry Vincent Crabbe!" No reaction... they continued looking like idiots "Justin Flinch Flechley marries Cho Chang" Flinch Flechley looked quite happy, Cho not "Rubeus Hagrid, you marry Luna Lovegood" booth looked like they were wondering if Fudge was sane "Draco Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy" Draco looked ready to kill "Ron Weasley and Ginny Weasley" this time there WAS a murder attempt on Fudge... by every Weasley as the whole Clan was there for comedic reason (the author ignores rules like it taking place in a school...) "Narcissa Malfoy and Dobby the house elf" Dobby disappeared and was seen 6 months later by explorers living on Antarctica... "Hannah Abbott and Arthur Weasley" there was just Abbotts crying as the Weasley family was unconscious "Hermione Granger and... ALBUS DUMBLEDORE" with that Dumbledore appeared "Neville Longbottom and" Neville looked extremely scared" Molly Weasley!" Neville fainted "Now, our savior, Harry James Potter, you will marry" Fudge turned pale as he read the name on the list "M-m-m-m-ME?! I use my influence as the minister to veto this marriage. Instead, you will marry Minerva McGonagall!" A list of further pairings of people continued. Fred and George married beautifultwins, Bill married Fleur, Charlie was forgotten and the redshirts married other redshirts. married Harry looked badly, cried and tried to kill Fudge, who disappeared before Avada Kedavra hit him.

Crabbe and Goyle now received the news "Wait... We are MARRIED?!"

"Congrats! You have brains" joked Draco Malfoy, born Malfoy

The next chapter will focus on the marriages and what comes out of them. Expect OCsA/N


End file.
